Find out whether you do need to improvise for a new home to be right for both people in a relationship, with helpful tips and information.
Imagine starting a new journey to find your next home with the person you love the most. The excitement is massive, as you both dream about this brand new chapter together. However, the path to finding the perfect property that aligns with both of your desires can be challenging, something you might have realised very quickly as you begin to house hunt together. How do you compromise to discover a home that is perfect for both of you? It’s certainly not easy, but it absolutely is necessary for a shared dream that makes you both happy.
Let’s take a closer look at the importance of compromise, as well as some tips on how to do it right and progress on your journey to a happy home together:
Why Does Compromise Matter So Much?
If compromise is not sought at all when you embark on the process of buying a house, you can end up in a sticky situation incredibly quickly. For most couples, this means arguing and potentially even ending up in a stalemate because things are so strained. Many people wrongly think compromise is where you have to ‘back down’ to the other person, and so, a conversation is not had and the arguments continue.
Compromise, in regards to buying a house with your partner, is not about settling for less. Instead, it is about discovering a common ground where both your wants and dreams can be realised. By putting the effort into compromising you can tackle the emotional challenges of moving home and ensure both of you are happy with the choice you make.
More so, compromise is not just about the end result, either. As you learn more about what you both want, you start to understand each other better. This new way of looking at things can introduce you to new and exciting ideas for a new house that you never knew existed. By embracing compromise you not only lay fantastic foundations for a harmonious home, but you ensure that the home you buy will be where the heart is.
How To Master Compromise As A Couple
In order to master the art of compromise there are a few things you can do to avoid arguments, and to make sure that the results you get at the end are results that make you both happy equally:
Finding Common Ground
Finding common ground when buying a house with your partner is essentially a quest for the sweet spot. It is where both of your dreams align. To get to that sweet spot you have to sit down and discuss your must haves, nice-to-haves and everything inbetween. You may well quickly find areas you agree on, and areas you don’t. Those commonalities will be crucial, though, as it shows there is a starting point for your house hunting goals.
Bringing Answers To The Table
One thing that is never productive when two people are trying to work something out, is only bringing ‘no’s’ to the table, and no solutions. Everything your partner suggests as a compromise you say no to, and don’t come back with any suggestion as to what would work for you.
By doing this you are making it impossible for any solution to be found.
Instead, take some time by yourself and think about compromises you would make, and things that could work for both of you. Be flexible as your partner speaks to you, too, and try to loosen up your requirements just a little. If one person is trying to compromise and work with your needs, and you are rejecting everything and making no solutions, the obstacle stopping this process from moving forward is you.
Ensuring Open And Respectful Communication
Clear and respectful communication is so important when it comes to compromising. When you discuss home-buying you have to actively listen to your partners viewpoints, and express your own with respect. By creating a safe place for open dialogue, you are much better placed to understand each others needs and concerns, leading to better decisions and compromises.
Good Timing For Chats
Timing is everything when it comes to discussing such important topics. Choose moments when you both feel relaxed and free from distractions. Avoid bringing up these kinds of things during stressful times, or when you are in a hurry. A peaceful and calm environment used when you are both in a good mood will improve the chances of a good outcome to your compromise chats.
For the busiest families, it is also important to actively create the time to talk. You might be willing to do the above, but have you actually both committed to a time to converse? Make sure you do, so that you actively prioritise such an important conversation, one that will ultimately save you time on your house hunting journey because it will be better targeted and refined.
The Importance Of No Compromise, Will Compromise And Could Compromise Areas
Understanding the various degrees you will both compromise is crucial. Identify non-negotiable aspects where both of you are willing to budge, areas where compromise is possible and those where you could be more flexible. This structured approach helps you both prioritise your goals and navigate the house hunting process more effectively.
Before you start your discussions it is important to arm yourselves with information. Research the current market, establish the budget and speak to estate agents and financial advisors to get a realistic sense of what is available. Having solid facts at your disposal ensures that your conversations about potential homes are based on reality.
Identifying Red Flags
Even with lots of effort, compromise can need a little fine tuning at various points along the house hunting process. If you find yourself pretending you’re happy with a compromise but deep down you are not, you are viewing houses and realise certain areas you have compromised you regret, or you feel a little like you have compromised too much – these are red flags. All you need to do is discuss these calmly with your partner so you can make a new plan together. Do address these red flags, though, as those left unresolved can lead to some huge problems down the line.
Flexibility Leads To Creative Solutions
Flexibility is your secret weapon when it comes to compromise. Sometimes, you will continually argue over one point. When that happens, be creative and think outside the box to find a compromise. Sometimes the answer is not your ideal or your partner’s ideal, but something neither of you have thought of before. Renovations, unconventional layouts, new areas – there are lots of ways to create the opportunity for compromise where it doesn’t seem to exist.
Things Are At A Stalemate – What Now?
Unfortunately, sometimes things will be at a stalemate because you have tried everything and just cannot seem to agree on a solution. If this is the situation you are faced with, it’s a really good idea to take a breather and stop things getting any worse. This might mean pausing the house hunt for a short time, so you can properly sort out your emotions and make a plan. For some couples who have not lived together at all, a struggle to compromise can be a sign that you should rent together first, before buying. You might just need to live together first and understand each other more.
If you are wanting to go ahead and buy a house, but you are clashing, why not enlist a mediator? This could be a friend or family member you trust to be a neutral party, who will be able to help you have a conversation together, with them controlling who speaks at any one time. If you don’t have that kind of person in your lives, you can hire a professional mediator. They can be based in law, and sometimes they are part of another type of organisation that offers mediation services. It doesn’t mean you are angry at each other, or that anything is wrong, you just need a hand in communicating better to get to a result that works well for both of you.
Is Compromise Always Necessary For A New Home? Absolutely
The process of buying a house with someone you love is such a rewarding, exciting and stressful process. The art of compromise is the way that you ensure the result of all your teamwork is a house that you both absolutely love. Nobody has to give up their dreams, nobody has to live in a house they don’t love. Together, with compromise, you can embark on this exciting chapter in a shared home that ticks all the boxes and more. The future is harmonious and set to support many incredible moments together in a beautiful new house.