Navigating the stress of moving house on your relationship with information and tips that are easy to follow.
Moving to a new house can be an exciting adventure that enables your partnership to strengthen, as you follow new dreams together. However, let’s be honest, it can also be incredibly stressful, too. This is supported by statistics which show one in five couples plot when moving house, as the stress causes a permanent relationship breakdown for over 15% of couples.
Don’t fret, though, it’s not over yet! If you follow the tips below you can not only get through the emotionally challenging experience of moving house together, but come out the other side stronger and ready to thrive in your new home. Let’s take a closer look:
The Types Of Stress On Relationships During A House Move
When you move to a new house there are different types of stress on the relationship, causing multiple ways for the relationship to be under pressure, and at risk of damage:
The House Hunt
Looking for the house can be incredibly exciting, but it can also be a bit of a hot spot for arguments about location, budget, features and other factors. This is especially true if you are struggling with compromise, and so you continue to clash on the same issues over and over again.
The Buying Process
Dealing with paperwork, negotiations and financial decisions can be incredibly overwhelming. It can cause extra strain when there are complications that drag the process out and make it overall, more tense.
Packing And Moving
Physically and emotionally draining, packing up years of your life and moving to a new place can be a real source of stress. Arguments can happen between a couple over who packs what, things getting broken, who is packing more – the list is endless. Even worse, as the process of packing causes the house to be in disarray, couples can be more likely to clash. About 47% of couples argue on a weekly basis about clutter in their home anyway, without the added issue of moving clutter. Local self storage can help with this issue, enabling you to move packed boxes into a safe and secure space, giving you more room and space at home to manoeuvre and get the packing done.
Balancing Life & Work
Managing work, family life and the moving process all in one go can create a hectic and stressful juggling act. Add to that potential acting up from pets and kids, and there are many reasons for arguments to start.
One of the best things you can do as a couple when you are moving house is to anticipate stress. Expect it, and then expect it again because it will happen and you will both feel a degree of tension many times. This kind of process tests any couple, even the perfect couple, and by anticipating stress you can make a plan to try and avoid it, or handle it better than it coming out of nowhere and taking you both off guard.
Being A Team And Weathering The Storm Together
When you begin the process of moving house together, it is imperative you remember that you are a team. Facing the challenges of the journey together will not only ensure the process runs more smoothly, but it will also inevitably strengthen your bond, too. Here are some strategies to help weather those moving house storms:
Safe Words & Calm Chats
In the middle of a stressful time, or an argument itself, consider having safe words and signals that let the other person know you need to cool off. It’s a simple strategy that brings you both back down to zero, and respects the space you need to feel a little more able to communicate well.
This strategy helps emotions to settle, and hopefully, heated arguments are prevented too.
To further help keep things calm, try to focus on having calm and constructive conversations together. No winners or losers, just calm, respectful exchanges that keep the peace. You should both be able to feel heard without it feeling like a match being thrown into a puddle of fuel. This takes practice, but before long it becomes a habit and you will both feel much more able to work through clashes.
Working On Compromise
The process of finding the right house often involves compromise. You might have different preferences, but compromise is what allows you to not just meet in the middle, but to build a collaborative dream that you’re both excited about. If you are both positive and willing, you can continue to have conversations based on finding a compromise, which will give you a sense of control over what can feel like a lot of hefty decisions you have to agree on.
Respecting Each Others Need For Time Out
Moving house is really stressful, and sometimes both of you might need a break. Recognise and respect each other’s need for time out when things get overwhelming. Whether that is a short walk, some hobby time, or a breather. This can also be time out as a couple, as a family, and individually. The process of moving house can be a lot for everyone.
Open Communication, Not Blame Games
One of the worst argument traps a couple can get into is constantly blaming each other for things that go wrong. It can be incredibly toxic and creates an environment that is volatile and at times, explosive. If you can both promise not to point fingers, and instead address the issue at hand, you will continue to be a team and avoid anybody feeling targeted.
Leaning On Loved Ones For Support
In times of heightened stress within a relationship, it is essential to lean on friends and family for support. It is so helpful when everything feels so heavy, and no doubt they will want you to turn to them in times of crisis.
Start by acknowledging that you need help – it isn’t a sign of weakness to reach out. In fact, it is courageous and brave.
Maybe you would love your parents to have the kids for a day so you and your partner can speak properly. Maybe you want to sit with a big cuppa and some tissues and let it all out to a friend. Don’t underestimate the power of a good rant to non-judgemental ears. In some situations it can even be good to have a therapist you can speak with for totally unbiased support, especially if the move has been incredibly stressful and caused big fractures between you and your partner.
Your partner should also have plenty of support too. Family members and friends will support both of you, but they should also have individual friendships or therapists they can turn to for individual help and private conversations. The more support there is for the whole family, the more likely it is you can both get through this with a healthy and happy relationship.
You Can Get Through This Challenge, For A Beautiful New Life In A Beautiful New Home
Moving house is such a challenging experience, but it doesn’t have to leave your relationship in a wreck. By acknowledging what potential stressors are, preparing for risks/ expected stress and relying on each other and your support network, you can navigate the process with expertise. With love and teamwork you will emerge from this process stronger and excited for this brand new chapter in your new home.